A 'Kanashi' person
by NeahCross
Summary: They love each other in all kinds of ways. To keep a long story short, it was a mess.
1. Chapter 1 Rock-paper-scissor-strip

Well another FF ^^ I'm kinda proud. This will be a long one so have a little patience.

The main pairing will be Cross x Allen. But there will be so much more pairings in the progress.

And this FF will become a little sad for everyone who likes Kanda (for me too).

This chapter is easier to understand if have read my first FF: A special kind of poker.

A 'Kanashi' person:

It's written as 'love' yet pronounced as 'sad'. A 'Kanashi' person is a lover who can solicit both love and sadness from your heart.

**A 'Kanashi' person**

_Chapter One: _

_**Rock-paper-scissor-strip**_

It's been two months since the trio took off to the mission. And – of course – hadn't contact the order. Well, that was expected of General Cross and Kanda, but Allen was a different matter. He usually calls, making sure nobody needed to worry.

"What if something happend?" Lenalee asked, sounding close to tears.

"What could happen to those three? You know they are strong. The worst case could be that Cross is leaving more bills for Allen to pay." Lavi tried to cheer her up. But Lenalee wasn't so sure. It was a dangerous mission or else Komui wouldn't have send the General with the two boys.

"Komui said that it could take long to finish the mission."

"Yeah you're right. I really shouldn't worry so much." Lenalee lied, Lavi could hear and see that but he played along.

"See. Well, let's go and see if your brother is still laking off work."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"ROCK-PAPER-SCISSOR!" The two men shouted. It was the last round. Allen lost so many times, he was already naked. Only Kanda and Cross were still in their briefs. It was a match of pride, neither of this two wanted to lose. Well, Allen was a sucker at games when he didn't have the chance to cheat. But he was kinda turned on by the two men almost naked fighting/playing with all they had.

"Paper over rock. I win!" Kanda sounded oh so pleased.

"You little …" Cross nearly graveld.

"Shishou! Play fair. It's just a game." Allen told him in a teasing tone.

"It wasn't fair to begin!" Allen knew what his master meant. It was the price for the winner. The winner has the word for this night, he could do whatever he wanted. And of course was Cross fearing that Kanda would want to top him. But Allen knew better, Kanda just wanted to serve. Kanda was a ronin¹ and Allen believed that Kanda meant to find his master in Cross.

"It's not like I would ..." Kanda stopped in the middle. His face showed his feelings, he was hurt. He couldn't believe that Cross trusted him so less. But then again was Cross a man who liked to be in control.

"Like you would do what, boy?" Cross asked, leaning into the other. "Don't like to be in control of the man who stole your cherry²?" Kanda trembled as the older man whispered in his ear.

"No." Kanda breathed out. "No I don't like it. I like it when you tell me what do, General. I like to act the way you want me to."

Cross was suprised by the honesty of the boy. Kanda was usually kinda dominant and showed nearly no emotions – you could think that he didn't even have any feelings. But now he could see that Kanda was a submissive person. He saw Allen grin in the corner of his eyes.

'So he knew all along huh?' He thought.

Of course Allen knew. He watched Kanda for so long, lusting for him but then he saw the flicker of submission the last time the three played.³ But then again was Kanda dominant to Allen. He was maybe a switcher. But he had been dominant for so long. Never found someone he could submit to. Until now.

"So boy. You do what I say?" Cross asked malicious.

Chills running down Kandas spine. "Yes sir."

"Close your eyes and keep them shut." Cross stood up, took Allen's ribbon and kneeled behind Kanda. His hands slides featherlight over the boys sides. Up and down and other again, before moving straight to the nipples. Turning and pinching them.

Kanda's breathing got faster. Cross' mouth attacked his neck, leaving sloopy open-mouthed-kisses. Kanda felt hands on his tights. Allen was kneeling before him, hands on his legs leaning forward to dip his tongue into the swordmans navel. Kanda's eyes flew open as he arched his back, leaning against Cross.

Cross was biting down hard. "I told you to keep your eyes closed right?" He growled. "You leave me no other choice but to blindfold you."

He licked over the bite before leaning back to grab the ribbon. He let his nails stratch up Kanda's back. The boy whimpered. Cross smirked. He was so pleased with the reaction. He let go of him.

"Close your eyes boy." Kanda did as told and Cross covered his eyes. Knotting the ribbon on the back of his head.

"Now you only need to feel. Submit to the sensations we give you."

In the meanwhile Allen got Kanda's briefs off. Kanda was hard already and Allen was suprised by how sensitive the dark haired boy was. Kanda's cock twitched as Cross again attacked his neck, kissing, licking, biting, making sure to leave marks. His hands were back to Kanda's nipples, rolling them between his fingers. Kanda opened his legs a bit more.

Allen was mesmorized by the scene before him. His hands trailing an unseen pattern on Kanda's chest. The head of Kanda's cock was wet with pre-cum and Allen just couldn't resist. He bend down and licked over the tip. Kanda's hips jerked up, wanting more. He moaned hoarsely, with his scense of seeing being disabled the feeling was just overwhelming.

Cross grabed Kanda's hair, bending his head back so hard that it hurt. Cross' teeth were on his throat, biting down hard enough to draw blood. The pain and pleasure were almost too much for him. He was panting helplessly, every cell of his body beging for release, but then everything stopped. He couldn't see what happend, couldn't see the two men having a soundless conversation. Cross' eyes moved to the red leather couch. He indicates Allen to stand up. The boy got up more elegant than expected, Cross then placed Allen on the back of it, legs wide open. He kissed his student passionately before he went back to Kanda.

"Get up, boy." Kanda jerked as the order interrupted the silence. Try to stand up while being blindfold and horny to no end. It was easier said than done. So Kanda nearly fell face-first back on the floor if Cross wouldn't have caught him.

"Easy tiger." He could hear the amusement in the older man's voice.

"Not funny." Kanda murmured. He shivered as he registered his situation, completely naked and blindfold in the arms of the man he kinda loved.

Wait! What he fuck was he thinking. He couldn't possibly love that man right?

Cross felt the boy tense up in his arms.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Slowly leading the boy to the couch. "What is my little boy thinking about, huh?" Cross' voice got a little moking tone. Kanda let out a suprised grasp as his knees touched the cool leather. Cross pushed him forward so he would fall right in Allen's open legs. He tried to get a hold on something, anything to stop his falling. Allen caught his hands, placing them on each side of his hips. Allen's hands moved up the strong arms of the swordsman before moving into the thick black hair. He bend down to kiss the older boy, first slowly but then deeper more possesive.

Cross watched the two boys. He had never seen Allen this possesive. Maybe that's because he knew that Cross would never belong to only him. But maybe, maybe he would. Yeah maybe. But then again was there Kanda in the mix. The three of them loved each other in all different ways. To keep a long story short, it was a mess.

Kanda's hand started to explore Allen's body. First moving up the flat stomach just to move down again. Trailing featherlight an unseen line from Allen's hip to his knees and up again. Before he -finally- touched the younger boys cock. Strocking it with just one finger from the base all the way up before teasing the slit. Allen broke the kiss to let out a light moan. He was quite a sight, eyes heavy lidded, lips red und swollen, breathing faster than normal.

Well, Kanda couldn't see, but for Cross is was exciting. Even through Kanda was the one blindfold, Allen acted way more sensitive then usual. Cross got a little bit jealous - not that he would admit it. The boys were having fun all by themselfs and leaving him out.

He fisted a hand in Kanda's hair, turning his head just to claim his mouth. The kiss was hot and possesive. More to show his apprentice that Kanda didn't only belong to him but to him, his master, as well. Kanda moaned into the kiss. Saving the feeling of Allen's hot skin under his hands, Cross' hand in his hair and the tongue which explored his mouth not leaving an inch untouched.

Allen was mesmerized by the two older men kissing. It wasn't like the first time they kissed. They didn't battle for dominance. Kanda was so submissive, arching his back, rubbing his ass against the bulge in Cross' briefs. He was trying so hard to please both of them, both Allen and Cross.

He caught his breath as they broke the kiss. Kanda was so beautiful, blushing, blindfolded, hair messy, lips parted, panting heavily. The love in Cross' eyes, the caring as he let his thumb slide over Kanda's buttom lip.

"General ..." The raven haired breathed out.

"Shishou~" Allen let out a light moan.

"Damn, I shouldn't have turned Tim off. You should see your faces. So hot." Cross' voice was full of desire.

"Kanda." Allen got Kanda's attention back. Kissing him again. This time with all the feelings he felt at the moment. Love, desire, passion, lust and longing.

Cross couldn't help the light moan that escaped his throat. Kanda hadn't stopped rubbing his ass against Cross' clothed cock but instead put more pressure in it. The red haired let his hands wander over the swordsman's back to the shoulders, moving up the neck, letting his fingers slide into the raven locks. His hips started to move against that ass. He leaned forward, kissing the shoulders before whispering into Kanda's ear. "How about returning Allen the favor from last time?"

The boy didn't knew what he meant. He broke the kiss to ask. "Wha-" But Allen shuts him up by kissing him again.

"The blowjob BaKanda." Cross bit into Kanda's ear. The boy moaned into the kiss. The general moves back, leaving a trail of butterfly kisses down on Kanda's spine. He kneeled behind him, kissing the boys inner thighs, massaging the taut ass cheeks.

Kanda broke kiss, letting his head fell forward on Allen's stomach. He needed a second to oriented himself. Then he started to kiss and lick his way down to the youngest cock. But he wanted to tease the boy. He nuzzled his balls, sucking each of them into his mouth, making them all wet and slippery. Allen moaned, fisting Kanda's hair. His hips thrusted up but Kanda's strong hands stopped the momentum.

"Not so quick, Moyashi." Kanda said. His voice muffled by the spot where Allen's leg meets his hips. He bits down, sucking, leaving a mark.

"Kanda~ please." Allen moaned. His eyes were fixed on the dark haired.

"Fine." Kanda moved his head, kissed the base of the cock, teasing the vene on the underside. He kissed the wet tip, licking over the slit before taking the tip in his mouth. He let his tongue move around it, sucking lightly at it. Allen tried to push in deeper but failed. Kanda was too strong, but the older teen had mercy and took him in deeper.

Cross bit into Kanda's right cheek and heard with pleasure the little whimper. He then spread the cheeks and could just stare for a moment. He leaned forward, breathing in the musky scent. Resisting was pointless so the general let his tongue slide over the ring-muscle, tasting the boy.

Kanda moaned and the vibration caused little waves of pleasure moving up Allen's spine. His cock grew even harder in the Asian's mouth. Kanda tried to get him deeper down his throat, starting to love the feeling of a cock deep inside his mouth. He loved what power it gave him. He was fighting his gag reflex as he felt the finger entering him. It easily went in, but it still felt weird at first. Allen's hand which tried to get him closer made him concentrate on the blowjob. He took all his courage together, took a deep relaxing breath and swallowed Allen down.

Cross used this moment to insert a second finger. The following scissoring motion made Kanda shiver. He humed and Allen thought that the vibration would drive him crazy.

Cross noticed that Allen was close, so he started to hurry. He stood up, moving the meanwhile three finger faster. One of his hands was jerking Kanda off, which made the swordsman moan loudly, as he withdrawed his fingers just to replace them with his own rock hard shaft. He pushed inside slow but steady, letting the boy get used to his thickness.

Kanda stopped moving, only focusing on the hand jerking him off, trying to relax. And it worked. He continued his _work _and moved his head up and down. His tongue stroking over the underside of Allen's cock.

Cross started to move. First slowly but he was getting faster with almost every thrust. Kanda matched his pace.

The Asian could hear skin slam against skin, the moans of Allen and the sharp in take of breath from Cross as he found his release.

He tighten around Cross, sucking him in deeper. He could feel him swell even bigger before he got filled with Cross' load.

He rolled Allen's balls with one hand. The other was up playing with one nipple. He was sucking hard. Allowing Allen to thrust into his mouth and a few thrusts later the boy came in it. Kanda felt like he was choking, but he swallowed down Allen's fluid, not spilling a bit.

Allen cuped his face, moving him up to kiss him deeply, tasting himself.

Cross slit out of him and it send a shiver up his spine.

There were fingers moving at the back of his head before he could finally see again.

Allen was as beautiful as ever. Kanda took him all in, the lust filled eyes which were still clouded from his orgasm, the red swollen lips and the thin sweat film which let it seem like he gleamed.

"Come on, stand up. Let's go to bed. You two look like you're ready to pass out." Cross' voice was hoarse. The boys got up, staggering to the bed. Kanda could feel the cum dripping down his thighs, but he couldn't care less. He was dead tired.

Cross got the boys to lay on each side of him and the two nuzzled against him, falling asleep as soon as they were comfortable and covered under the blanket.

Cross kissed both on the forhead. "I love you two." He whispered, knowing nobody would hear him before he too fell asleep.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Man … He really is sleeping." Lavi sighed. Lenalee giggeled a little.

"I will go get some coffee. How about you try to wake him up?" Lenalee suggested. Lavi just nodded and Lenalee left the room. He moved over to the desk.

"Hey Komui. Wake up." He said, tapping the older on the shoulder. "Rise and shine."

Komui mumbled something but Lavi didn't caught it.

"What was that?" He leaned in close. Komui moved. He got up a little and accidentally kissed the redhead. Lavi jumped back. His face as red as his hair.

Lenalee got back, caring a tablet with three cups of coffee.

"Did something happen?" She asked as she saw Lavi bright red, but he didn't say anything just looked down.

"What's wrong Lavi?" She asked again.

"Nothing … just …" But Lavi didn't finish the sentence. He just turned and almost ran out the room.

"I wonder what's wrong with him?" Lenalee was confused.

"Huh?" Was all Komui had to say.

_End of chapter one_

¹ a ronin is a samurai without a master

² the kanji for cherry and virginity are the same

³ reference to _A special kind of poker _my first FF

Well I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to point out any spelling and grammar mistakes

And yeah next chapter is in progress.

See you~


	2. Chapter 2 Third time is a charm

Heey everyone I'm back again ^_^

So here is chapter two. It's actually so much fluff – at least for me xD

Oh and OOCness in this chapter sorry ^_^' (actually I'm not. It fits xD)

okay pairing in this one is: Komui x Lavi

Again feel free to point out any spelling mistakes and typos and what not

and yeah … enjoy!

**A 'Kanashi' person**

_Chapter Two:_

_**Third time is a charm**_

"And you really have no idea why Lavi practically fleed?" Lenalee was suspicious. Okay Lavi acted weird from time to time but this hurried exit was even for him way to weird. Not to mention the bright blush on his face.

"I tell you I have no idea. I was sleeping so deep." Komui really couldn't think of any reason for Lavi's behaviour.

"You're always sleeping Nii-chan." Lenalee accused her brother.

"Aww Lenalee don't be like that to me." Komui plead. He was an idiot with a big sister complex but who didn't knew that. The girl sighed. Her brother was hopeless. Anyway she came here for a reason.

"Ne Nii-chan did you hear anything from Allen?" She asked.

Komui sat up straight. "No. I didn't hear anything but that isn't a bad sign. You know Cross and Kanda. Allen probable has his hands full with them, keeping them out of fights and stopping Cross from spending to much money."

"Yeah. You're right … probable." She didn't sound convinced. Komui looked at his sister. She looked worn out and worried as hell. He stood up and tucked her into a bear hug.

"Don't worry so much Lenalee." He tried to smooth her. She relaxed in his arms and he couldn't help but smile a bit. "And now we should find out what's wrong with Lavi, don't you think?"

She nodded. "You're right. I'm going to find it out." She peeked his cheek. "Thank you Nii-chan." She smiled while leaving the room to find the red head.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

'That didn't happend. I didn't just had my first kiss with a man, yet alone with Komui.' Lavi thought. Yes he wasn't a virgin anymore but yes he didn't kiss anyone up til now. And a man nonetheless. And worse he didn't disliked it actually he liked it. A lot. But Komui wasn't really awake and probable didn't meant to kiss him. Let's face it he was probable dreaming about someone. Someone he loved. Shit! First Lavi wasn't supposed to have feelings or to show them and second did he really just thought about love and men at the same time? Shit. Life just got a hundred percent more difficult. He couldn't think about anything but the kiss and how much he wanted to do it again. Some sound cut him out of his thoughts.

There was the sound of footsteps on the stone floor approaching him. Turning he found Lenalee heading his way. 'Now that's exactly what I need right now.' He thought.

"There you are." She sounded breathless as she came to stop in front of him. "I was searching for you." She smiled. Seems like Komui found the right words to cheer her up. Komui, the name alone got his cheeks burning up a bit.

"You alright? You're blushing again." She staded out.

"I'm alright." Lavi said while taking a step back to dodge the hand that reached out to touch his forehead.

"Are you sure?" Lenalee asked sounding somewhat amused. "Maybe you should lie down a bit."

Lavi nodded. "Yes I think I will do that." And with that he turned on his heels and headed to his room.

Once he was there he slamed the door shut and locked it. For a minute he stood still but then he hit the door with full force. "SHIT!"

He needed to calm down, needed someone to talk. Allen! He could always count on him. After a few calming breaths he left the room to call the white head.

Tut-tut-tut … "Oh man they have Timmy turned off." Lavi was getting more and more frustrated. So he needed to talk to Komui to find out there they were. Since there was no mission for him and he wasn't needed here, he was theoretically free to go.

Heading to Komui's office he thought about the kiss which he really shouldn't do since he really wanted to do it again. He wasn't sure if he could keep himself under control if he was alone with the older man.

The door to Komui's office was closed and Lavi couldn't hear any sound through the door. He lifted his hand to knock but stopped for a second to calm his racing heart. There was no answer to his knocking so he opened the door to peek in.

"Komui?" He said, voice loud and clear. The red head opened the door completely and entered the office for the second time this day. The sight before him was the same too. Komui sleeping at his desk. The face of the man lying on some papers. Lavi got to the desk standing beside the dark haired man. He leaned back against the desk and watched the man. Lavi took a look around before letting his hand slide through the thick black waves. His fingers brushed over the pale neck. The red head sighed. God, what he would give for another kiss. He leaned towards Komui's face. His fingers slid up the side of Komui's neck along the jaw-line. The thumb brushed over the man's lower lip. Lavi turned Komui's face to his side a bit more and leaned down. He let his lips brush over Komui's. It was a short kiss. Decent. Innocent. Just lips pressed to another pair. He quickly pulled away as he felt the older man move. Lavi took a few steps back. Komui sat up and rubbed his eyes. Then he yawned.

"Huh? Lavi?" He sounded groggy. After he cleaned his throat he continued talking. "What are you doing here? Are you okay now? Did Lenalee find you?"

Lavi put his hands up smiling. "Woah easy. Yes she found me. Yes I am okay. And I was going to ask you were Allen and the others are."

Komui arched an eyebrow. "Why do want to know that?"

"I wanted to talk to him. And my call didn't got through to them."

"You can … Wait." Komui said and looked at his clock. "They should be calling anytime soon. You can talk to Allen then."

"Okay but I still would like to go meet them. It should still take them some time to finish the job right? Maybe I could help." The red head suggested. The black haired man just shook his head. Lavi's brows furrowed. "Why not?"

"If I wanted to send you I would have already done that." The ringing of the phone cut the argument for the time being.

"Yes? … I was waiting. So how is it going?" Komui turned away from Lavi to his desk. The red head got over to the couch and sat down, watching as Komui talked to one of three on the other line. The conversation went on for a couple of minutes.

"Get Allen on. Lavi wants to talk to him. … I don't know. Now stop making a fuss and get him on. I need to check something." Komui gestured for Lavi to come to the desk. He took the receiver from the man.

"I need to check something. Take your time." Komui said as he stood up and left the room.

Lavi sat down in Komui's chair, taking the receiver to his ear. There was rustling on the other end.

"Allen?"

"Yes. Lavi?"

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"Lavi? Is everything alright?"

"Yes everything's perfect." Lavi's voice was getting more and more frantic.

"You don't sound alright. Tell me what's wrong Lavi." Allen was instantly into nurture mode. Lavi was a good friend after all and Lavi trusted him. Allen even knew that Lavi didn't had a kiss up til now.

"I-I had my first kiss." Lavi confessed.

"Woah that's fantastic. How was it? With who? And why do you sound so miserable about it?" Of course was Allen happy for him and worried at the same time since Lavi sounded so weird.

"Well thanks I guess. And it was way to short." Lavi couldn't help but smile a bit. "And it was with a man." Lavi paused. He turned so that he had his back to the door and looked out the window. "It was with … Komui."

Allen let out a surprised gasp. "Komui? Really? How?" He managed to say.

"Well Lenalee is worried about you three since she didn't hear anything from you. And I wanted to distract her. So I thought we should look for Komui, you know. And he was sleeping. … So she went to get coffee and I tried to wake him up. He said something but I couldn't catch it. So I leaned down to hear him better and then … then he just kissed me. He wasn't even awake and he doesn't seem to remember." Lavi ended his monologue with a sob. He didn't know when he started crying but he was.

"Shh Lavi. It's okay. It's gonna be okay." Allen tried to smooth him and Lavi knew Allen would hug him if he were here. "Have you asked him about the kiss?"

"No. I just ran when Lenalee came back. And when I came back to the office to ask him to let me join you, he was sleeping again and I couldn't help myself but to kiss him. He woke up and we got into fight why I'm not allowed to join you. And know I'm spilling my guts to you even through I'm not allowed to have any feelings at all. Shit Allen I really need you right now." Lavi was crying really hard by now. He coud hear Allen's breathing and he knew that Allen didn't know what to say and would have comforted him in a physical way and he really needed it right now. "I really_ really _need you, Allen. I miss you so much right now." Lavi felt better after talking to his best friend and crying like a baby.

He could practically hear Allen's smile when he answered. "Hang in there. We will be back in a couple of days. Just be good and wait. And I miss you too. I got so much to tell you when I'm back." Allen sounded so happy and it kinda transfered to the red head. He felt so much better.

"Okay Lavi. I'm sorry but I must hang up now. See you."

"Yeah see you Allen. Thanks for listening."

"No problem. It's good. You sound better now."

"I'm feeling much better."

"Good. Tell Lenalee we're good. Bye."

"I will. Bye." Lavi hung up and took a deep breath. He wiped his eyes one last time before turning to the door. Lavi froze when he saw Komui leaning against the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" Lavi asked. He felt a little panicky.

"Long enough." Komui sounded weird a bit to serious.

"And how long exactly is enough?"

Komui approached him slowly. "So you really _really_ need Allen, huh?" Lavi's eyes widend a bit with surprise. "And you were crying. Why were you crying?" The man stood right infront of the red head. In arms reach.

"I-I … Yes I miss him. He's my best friend after all. And it's pretty obvious that I was crying." Lavi turned to look out of the window. He heard some movements behind him before he could feel Komui's warmth against his back.

"Why were you crying?" Komui asked again.

"It's nothing." The red head could see Komui's reflection in the window.

"Why were you crying?" The dark haired man asked again.

"It has nothing to do with you."

"Oh I think it does." He persisted on an answer.

"It's embarrassing."

"But you could tell Allen. Don't trust me enough?"

That statement made Lavi angry for some reason. "That's not it."

"Then tell me what made you cry." Komui leaned flushed against Lavi's back, resting his chin on the red head's shoulder.

What is he doing? Why is he doing that? Lavi's head began to spin. The feeling helped him to get the courage to answer Komui's question.

"You."

"What? Why?"

"You made me cry. I cried because of you. Because of what you did."

"What did I do?"

"You-you kissed me and don't even remember." Lavi said, smiling sadly.

"I did?" Komui lifted his head and his face showed how surprised he was. "When?"

"Earlier today. When Lenalee and I first came here."

"Oh I remember you fleeing before I was really awake."

"Yeah that's because you kissed me before Lenalee came back with the coffee."

"Didn't like to kiss a guy, huh? Or should I say an old guy?"

"That's not it. It-it was my first kiss." Lavi stopped. His eyes flickered to the floor. "It was my first and you didn't seem to remember. And well I kissed you again before you woke up and we had that fight over whenever or not I'm allowed to join Allen and co."

"You did?" Komui was smirking.

"Yes." Lavi confirmed.

"But I wasn't even awake. That was mean." Komui pouted.

"Mean?" Confused Lavi turned around to face the older man.

"Yes mean. Now I already kissed you twice but I don't remember. Do you think we can fix that?" Komui leaned forward.

"Wha-" But Lavi was cut off by a pair lips against his own. For a second he froze but then he let his arms move around the man's neck to pull him closer.

There was a tongue sliding over the teen's bottom lip. The red head parted his lips and let the tongue enter his mouth. He didn't know how to kiss french. So he just imitated the movements of the older man's tongue. The kiss quickly became heated and sloppy.

Lavi had his hands burried in the man's raven hair.

Komui's hands were under Lavi's shirt, trying to memorize every inch of skin just by touch.

Lavi moaned into the older man's mouth as said man groped his ass.

"Oh didn't mean to interrupt but here are the papers you asked for, Komui." Reever said. He didn't really sounded surprised or offended. Lavi pushed Komui off, blushing furiously.

"Thanks Reever. But learn how to knock okay?" Komui sounded a bit breathless.

Reever smiled. "I'll try to remember that. But usually you're always sleeping so knocking doesn't make that much sense."

"You're right but please try to knock from now on."

"Sure thing boss." Reever tried not to smile so hard as looked at Lavi. "Don't be so embarrassed."

"I'll try." Lavi was getting comfortable with this situation. Crazy.

Reever lifted a hand as he left the room.

"I'm in big trouble." Lavi said.

"What do you mean?" Komui didn't seem to follow his train of thought.

"I'm a bookman after all. What do you think grandpa will do when he finds it out. And he will find it out."

Komui hugged Lavi from behind, nuzzling his face in the teen's neck. "We will cross that brigde when we come to it."

"Okay." Lavi agreed, leaning back onto Komui's chest.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Allen wondered if Lavi was capable to figure his situation out. But he believed in Lavi so it will be okay for the time being.

"Allen come!" Kanda sounded lightly pissed off. They're going to a bar, drinking and gambling all night.

Allen had a good feeling about the evening. I mean what could possibly go wrong with the three of them so let's have some fun.

"Coming!" Allen ran to the others. Cross smiled. Kanda was trying hard not to smile which was damn hard since Allen was grinning like an idiot. "Let's go."

_End of chapter two_

So how was it? Good? Bad?

Excited for the next chapter?

Well next one will be pretty sad at least for me since I love Kanda.

But I'm not telling what's gonna happen.

I have holidays so I can write more than usual. So next chapter will be way faster.

See you~


	3. Chapter 3 Loved, lost, broken

Heey everyone~ A new chapter is out! Yes~

I must say find this one really sad I cried while I wrote it but … Let's see what you say.

And again feel free to point out all the grammar and spelling mistakes.

And a special thanks to **lunarstar1018** for all these kind words and cheers. It means so much to me ^/^

So enjoy the chapter :3

**A 'Kanashi' person**

_Chapter Three:_

_**Loved, lost, broken**_

Allen had a feeling that this was going to be great. The trio took the night off to visit a bar. Allen was so happy. First he finally got Kanda, second Cross didn't leave every night for wine and cheap whores and last but not least Lavi, his best friend, seemed to found love. But he knew that in all of his happiness the disaster was waiting to come. He threw the thought aside. It was time to have fun and to enjoy not to think about things that could happen or not. The three entered the bar and were welcomed by the smell of cigarettes and alcohol and loud conversations. The music came from a little stage at the back. It was nice listening to live music. The bar was small and cozy. All dark wood and red leather. It gave a nice feeling with two poker tables and a few sitting corners. The bar itself took the whole left wall. The wall was covered in shelves which were filled with all kinds of glasses and bottles. They got a little sitting corner and ordered their first drinks. Allen was sitting in the middle. Well he was practically sitting in Kanda's lap. Cross' arm was resting at the back of the booth. His hand was playing with Kanda's ponytail. Kanda didn't seem to meant. The black haired man had a hand under Allen's shirt. Letting his thumb caress the smooth skin of Allen's lower back.

"You wanna play poker?" Cross asked after a while.

"Later." Allen murmured against Kanda's neck. He was busy leaving a big dark mark on the asian because Allen saw the interesed looks Kanda got. And he couldn't have that could he? Allen was a bit angry that Kanda got some even through the young one was sitting in the swordman's lap. '_Unbelievable._' He thought.

But Kanda didn't notice the looks or anything else except the hand playing with his hair and the warmth of Allen's lips against his neck and the way he suckled on it. Allen's weight on his lap didn't do his concentration any good. He could feel himself getting excited. He put the glass he was holding down and turned his head to kiss Allen on the lips. His hand tugged on Allen's hair as the kiss quickly became more and more passionate.

Allen shifted in Kanda's lap so he was straddling the older one's hips. He rolled his hips against Kanda's causing a sweet friction between them. Allen mewled into the kiss.

"Enough you two." Cross groand. "I can't put you over the table now. So stop making me want to do it."

They broke the kiss. Allen was giggling like a schoolgirl and Kanda had a little smirk on his lightly swollen lips.

The raven leaned towards Cross. His smirk growing into a full grown shit-eating grin. He placed a hand against Cross' jaw. The thumb sliding over the general's bottom lip.

"You want one too,_ master_?" Kanda purred. He fucking _purred_!

"Shit." Cross breathed out.

Kanda licked his lips. Immediately Cross' eyes were fixed on those lips he wanted to kiss so badly.

"Yes or no?" Kanda teased still having this stupid grin on his face.

"Yes." Cross gave in. Why should he fight if he could get what he wanted so easily.

Kanda closed the gap between their lips. The raven tried to dominant the kiss but failed miserably. Not that it mattered to him. He didn't really wanted to be the dominant one of the two. Cross graped Kanda's neck to pull him closer which – of course – didn't work with Allen in Kanda's lap.

The white haired chuckled at his master's action and Kanda slapped his ass in response. That caused Allen to gasp.

A throat clearing caused them to stop fooling around. They looked up to find one of the finders standing there.

"What?" Cross asked, sounding a bit breathless and annoyed.

"There was an activity a few streets away, sir." He answered.

Kanda sighed. "I will go check it out."

"You shouldn't go alone." Allen protested as Kanda lifted him off his lap to place him in Cross'. "It be too dangerous."

"It's not. And I can handle that stuff, you know." The raven said, flicking Allen on the forehead.

"Ow." Allen rubbed the spot with his palm. "But it's a dangerous mission Komui said. And it could be possible that there are still a few strong Akumas out there."

"I will be fine, Moyashi." Kanda leaned down to kiss him again. This time tender.

"You two play nice while I'm gone." The raven said before giving Cross too a second kiss. The swordman turned and followed the finder.

"You think he will be alright?" Allen asked Cross as he snuggled against him, seeking comfort.

Cross put his arm around the small boy, hugging him tight. "Of course. It's Kanda we're talking about. Don't worry."

Allen began to relax and Cross started to rub circles on Allen's back. They sat like that for a little while before Allen turned to his master and kissed him hard on the lips. Their teeth collided. The kiss went on a long before both leaned back to take a breath. Cross raised an eyebrow at Allen.

"A thanks for the comfort." The boy smiled. He got off Cross' lap.

"Where are you going?" The general asked.

"Playing a bit poker. I won't take long. I don't want you to get lonely." Allen teased but leaned down to give Cross another breathtaking kiss. After that he took off to one of the poker tables. '_Kanda is doing Allen good._' Cross thought as he too got up but to get a few shots for later. It was their night off after all.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Allen really played just one round of poker that he won – of course – and came back to their booth.

Cross had ordered a tablet of shots. Not only one type but eleven and three shots of each type.

"Do you want me to get drunk?" Allen asked obviously amused.

"Maybe." Cross smirked. "Let's get started. Kanda gets his when he's back."

The general took two shots and hold one out for Allen.

"But he needs to drink them all at once." The boy laughed as he took the glass from Cross.

"Cheers baka apprentice." The red head raised his glass to Allen.

.-.-.

Meanwhile Kanda finally arrived at the street where the finder said the _**'**__activity' _was – or better should be. There was absolutely nothing!

"Are you sure it was here?" Kanda asked already pissed.

The finder just nodded and looked around.

**BAAM!**

They turned around to see a cloud of smoke a few houses away.

"Shit." Kanda swore. They took off towards the explosion.

The whole street was chaos. The buildings were destroyed and fragments of them were lying all over the street.

.-.-.

Allen was in Cross' lap again. Their kiss was sloppy and wet. The reason was obvious. Allen was as good as wasted. They had shared Kanda's shots since he was taking so long.

Allen had his hands deep in Cross' mane and was grinding his cock against Cross' stomach. His ass over the older man's groin.

"Shishou~" He moaned wantonly. Cross groaned in response. The man already had his hands in Allen's pants, kneading the taut ass.

.-.-.

Akumas were coming from everywhere. Most of them were Level two but there was a good among of Level threes too.

"Shit. They are too many for me alone." Kanda looked at the finder. "Go get the others. Fast!" The man turned and ran. Kanda draw Mugen and activated it.

Kanda began fighting. The situation was serious he knew that. He alone couldn't do this. His hope was that the other two didn't had drank too much til now.

"Ah!" He heared a scream and turned.

.-.-.

"Restroom. Now!" Cross ordered and bit down on Allen's shoulder. Allen nearly fell as he tried to get off Cross' lap as fast as he could. But drunk as he was it wasn't that easy.

"Haha easy." Cross laughed. He helped Allen up and to the restroom. It was good that Allen had problems walking so it wasn't too suspicious that the two were going to the restroom.

Once there was Allen tugged into one of the stalls and pushed against the now locked door of it. A passionate kiss greeted him as he looked up.

.-.-.

Kanda saw the finder. The man was held by two Akumas and was slowly being torn in two. The screams of the man were horrible. Kanda tried to reach him. He fought his way to him but as the asian reached the finder was the man already dead.

"Shit!" Kanda screamed. Now there was no help coming at least not fast. A few people sure heared the explosion and such news usually spread fast. He could only hope that Cross and Allen heared about it soon and came here. He didn't know how much longer he could hold out. His right shoulder was badly hurt and he had a few other injuries.

.-.-.

"Hm~ God yes!" Allen moaned shamelessly as Cross plunged into him over and over again. "More! Harder! Yes!"

Cross groaned. Shit Allen was so good. He missed fucking him. He didn't had a chance since Kanda had joined them.

"Allen. I so missed fucking you." The older man moaned into Allen's neck. He bit down to mark what was his.

"Ah~ Shishou~" Allen screamed as he came against the door. He came just being fucked from behind. Cross' thrusts were getting more frantic since he was so close himself. Allen tighten around him. After a few fast and deep thrusts he too came deep inside the willing body of his apprentice.

"Allen." Cross moaned softly into Allen's ear.

.-.-.

He was hurt all over and exhausted. '_Please let them come in time._' Kanda thought. He could bearly stand his ground.

"Shit." He cursed. A Level three was approaching him from behind. He didn't see it coming until it was to late.

.-.-.

They got back to their table which was surprisingly still free. Allen still glow from his orgasm. '_He's beautiful like this._' Cross thought.

"There they are." Someone said and hurried over to them. "You are exorcists right? Was there a dark haired man with you?"

"Yes." Cross answered. Allen started to feel anxious.

"There is big trouble! There was an explosion and there are so many Akumas. We were searching for you but couldn't find you. Come!" The man said.

"Oh no. Kanda!" Allen was now panicky.

They ran after the man who was leading the way towards Kanda. '_Kanda. You have to be safe. Please._' Allen thought and Cross as well. They couldn't lose him yet. Not yet!

.-.-.

"Kanda! Watch out!" Kanda heared Allen scream. Allen! Hope! He could make it. But then he turned he saw teeth. Only teeth and when was there pain. So much pain and screams.

.-.-.

"No! Kanda!" Allen screamed. Tears running down his face. He activated his Innocence and began to fight. He was furious and anxious and panicky and god knows what else. He fought and fought but he couldn't reach Kanda. Kanda's sreams died. And that only made Allen's emotions more of a mess.

Cross too was fighting with everything he had. But there were just too many Akumas.

.-.-.

After what seemed forever they managed to kill all the Akumas and ran to Kanda.

Allen was a shaking sobbing mess as he hugged Kanda. Or better what was left of him. Kanda's right arm and side and both legs were gone. Just gone. Nowhere to be seen. And there was so much blood. Everywhere. Kanda was lying in a pool of blood. Allen was kneeling beside him. The boy's face was pressed against Kanda's neck as Allen slid his arms around him.

Cross stood there for a moment just watching the scene before him. There was something wet on his cheeks. He wiped his fingers over it. Tears. He was really crying. Then he finally moved over to Kanda. Falling to his knees beside the asian, wrapping both boys in his arms.

"W-What are y-you cry-ing for?" Kanda asked. He sounded so weird with all the blood in his mouth and everywhere. So weak.

"Kanda. Don't die. Please." Allen cried so hard. Kanda lifted his remaining arm and put his hand on Allen's face.

"Don't cry Moya-shi." Kanda smiled, tears lingering in his eyes. "I lo-ove you. Bo-oth. I love you Allen. I love you Marian." Kanda coughed bloody.

"I love you too Yuu." Allen managed to get out. He kissed Kanda on the lips. It was just a peek.

"I love you too Yuu." Cross said too. Also kissing Kanda also just a peek on the lips.

Kanda smiled at both of them. "I kno-ow." He said as his eyes drived close and his hand fell back on the ground. And a single tear ran down his face.

Allen fell on Kanda's chest. An endless stream of tears running down his face and on Kanda's chest.

Cross threw his head back and howled all his sorrow out loud. Clenching the boys harder.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

They were about to reach to order after a three day long journey. Allen still hadn't stopped crying. There were always a few tears running down his cheeks. And he hadn't said a word since Kanda died. He didn't eat and drank only a bit.

Cross was not really different. He only talked when necessary, eat only a few bites and drank hardly. He would even cry when he was alone or with Allen or with Kanda's corpse.

Shit. Kanda's last words were a confession to them. How he had managed to talk or live long enough for them to arrive was a miracle and so damn cruel.

Allen had taken Kanda's ponytail ribbon and wore it around his right wrist. He would have prefered to wear it on his left but since it was his Innocence it wasn't possible.

Cross slid closer to Allen in the carriage, putting an arm around him, pulling him close. Allen looked at him but his eyes were near dead. There was no sparkle or light or life in them anymore. Only a little tiny bit when he looked at Kanda's ribbon or into Cross' eyes.

"Ready?" Cross whispered. Allen leaned forward to kiss him. The boy got so much more physical since Kanda was dead. It was like he was going to make sure everything else was still there by touching it. Allen climbed into Cross' lap deepening the kiss. Buried his hands in Cross' mane. He did that a lot since that day. Cross pulled away.

"We're nearly there. We can't. Not now." He said breathlessly. But that only caused Allen to slide to the floor, kneeling between Cross' open legs and hands on Cross' belt buckle. Before Cross could protest had Allen his pants open and low enough to take his already hard member out. Allen didn't waste time to admire the sight before him. He just leaned forward and swallowed Cross down.

It didn't take long for Cross to come since Allen was endeavour to make Cross come. Being the good boy Allen was he swallowed it all. Cross leaned down to kiss him again.

"I love you Allen. Only you." Cross whispered into Allen's hair. He knew the kid was crying again. Everytime he told him he loved him the kid would cry and hug him. And of course got Allen up, climbed back in Cross' lap, snaking his arms around the man's neck and snuggled close.

'_Now. You love only me because Yuu is dead. And it's my fault._' Allen thought. '_If I wouldn't have drank so much and ended up fucking in the restroom he would still live. If I hadn't wanted to go to the bar he would still live. If I hadn't seduced him he would still live. If I hadn't loved him in the first place he would still live. If I wasn't alive he wouldn't have died. If I weren't he would still live._'

But Allen lived and Kanda was dead. Kanda. Allen loved him and he still does but he loves Cross too. And Cross loved him back but Cross loved Kanda too. '_Shishou should blame me for Kanda's death._' Allen thought. '_It's all my fault! I need to suffer as much as Kanda did. I don't deserve to be happy._'

Allen made the decision that he would do everything for Cross but nothing for himself.

He wasn't worth it anymore. He needed to suffer.

It was his fault after all, right?

_End of chapter three_

And how was it? Bad? Really bad? Awful? Or maybe good?

I don't really have much to say now but I think I will have time to upload about two chapters a month from on. So stay tuned.

See you~


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